Tuesday, October 24, 2006

It's Time

It's now four minutes later, and it's time we began pushing this story into the media, coordinating the effort with CREW and HRC, because we really, really care about the Sexual Predator Slade Gorton.

From someone calling himself "SenateIntern," a long-time Daily Kos poster who posted for the first time forty seconds ago, we have this hot tip-- a verbatim AOL chat session between Slade Gorton and a teenaged Senate Page of the young, impressionable age of 48.

SlayGore69: Hey, what's up?

Teen: nothing, as usual... lol

SlayGore69: hah, I hear that lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: lol... (wink)

Teen: (wink) lol

SlayGore69: I hear you like camping

Teen: sometimes

SlayGore69: I'd like to take you camping... the Mount Ranier area is beautiful

Teen: I've heard... what's there to do?

SlayGore69: Well, they say the trout are really snapping, lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: lol (wink)

Teen: (wink) loL (smile)

SlayGore69: lol... so anyway, we could go up camping together. What are you wearing?

Teen: shorts and shirt

SlayGore69: sexy

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: do I make you horny?

Teen: a little... lol

SlayGore69: lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: right now I'm sharpening the knife I will kill you with... lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: lol

Teen: Wait, did you just say you were going to kill me?

SlayGore69: Murder is the ultimate act of love. You cannot truly bond with someone unless you take their lives at the very climax of the physical act of love. It is the Moment of Becoming, of Transcendantal Orgasm, the riot of rich red blood geysering at the moment of ejaculation.

Teen: ...

SlayGore69: lol. so, do you like fishing? I've got a bunch of hand-tied lures a constituent gave me. He say's they're "can't miss." The trout are really snapping.

Teen: What did you just say

SlayGore69: The trout are really snapping.

Teen: No, before that.

SlayGore69: Can't miss lures.

Teen: No... before that. The thing about a rich red geyser of blood.

SlayGore69: It's a beautiful area, really... the only trouble is that they have that rule that you have to carry out your poop in little bags. Such a silly rule. On the other hand, apparently they have no problem with someone cutting the head and limbs off a body and planting them each in the ground as if they were pretty bloody flowers of death.... lol

Teen: um

SlayGore69: Yeah, silly law, huh? So did you spank it this weekend

Teen: I can't tell if you're serious... are you really planning on killing me?

SlayGore69: oh no, just joking about that, lol

Teen: oh, I was worried lol

SlayGore69: lol

Teen: lol

SlayGore69: no, with you, I'll use surgical probes to push past your eyeball and conduct an quasi-lobotomy by repeatingly piercing your motor cortex until you linger in a deathlike state of full bodily paralysis. you will be unable to move or speak, but you will be able to feel every exquisite pain I inflict on your comatose body

Teen: lol... I think...

SlayGore69: you won't be laughing when I flay the flesh off your body to make a LoveSkin from you

Teen: you're worrying me

SlayGore69: No need to worry. The trout virtually jump right on to your boat, lol

Teen: i'm not so worried about the trout

SlayGore69: so we'll do some camping, some fishing, I'll watch you spank it, then I'll cut out uncessary portions of your brain to make you my undead rape robot all shiny and red with exposed muscle and viscera and i'll sexually violate your spleen and make a necklace of your lymph nodes... then maybe we can get some ice cream... they make it moutain-fresh up there, straight from the cow to the blender to the cone lol (wink)

Teen: I have to go. My mom wants me.

SlayGore69: I rather doubt that.

Teen: she's calling me

SlayGore69: I don't see how she could be calling you as I have her head in a box (smile)

Teen: Dude, you killed my mother?

SlayGore69: I did not say I killed her. I said I had her whore-slut head in a box. Fun fact: A human head can be kept alive for weeks with a blood pump and a mix of artifically oxygenated blood and gluclose syrup. you can use that... it's always a hit at cocktail parties lol

Teen: I'm calling the police

SlayGore69: you think they can protect you?

Teen: You're damn right they can you fucking psycho

SlayGore69: I'm not sure they'll get there in time... since I'm posting from your den

Teen: ohmygod

SlayGore69: lol (wink)

Teen: ohmygodohmygodohmygod

SlayGore69: It's not just trout, by the way. if you like bluefish, the rivers are stocked with them. I hear they're really snapping

Teen: please don't kill me

SlayGore69: lol... i could say it won't hurt, but that would be a lie. we are beyond lies, as we will soon be linked forever, as I consume your flesh and together we experience the Becoming... there will be great pain indeed, as your deathlike trance-body will feel every cut of my blade and every stab of my pulsating manhood. on the plus side, I'm pretty sure we can get some nice eight- or ten-pound blues if we beat the tourists to the river... lol I can bring your mom's head... we can use it for chum. it's starting to smell a little anyway... wink Oh, PS, I'm on the wireless and I'm right behind you now... (wink) lol (grin) (repeated frenzied stabbing of your spine) (smile)

(Message ends.)

Brian Ross says he's "very interested" in "nailing down this story" on November 5th.

Information Is Flowing In!

Wow! We established this blog three minutes ago and the tips are already pouring in! We have a congressional page who found us via Google two minutes ago and he's providing us with incriminating emails from the Sexual Predator Slade Gorton.

We will publish these as it gets closer to the election, because that's how concerned we are about the Sexual Predator Slate Gorton.

Stop Sexual Predator Slade Gorton

We've established this site to stop the sexual predations of former Washington Senator Slade Gorton.